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An Open Letter to My Almost-Lost Friend

An Open Letter to My Almost-Lost Friend

Dear Clint,

This will come a little too late. I should probably have sent this six months ago, when you would have appreciated it. When you would have picked up the phone immediately and asked me, “What’s wrong?”

Instead, you’ll read this letter with just a faint wistfulness — not because you’re cold, but because you don’t remember anymore.

You don’t remember all the hours we spent musing about life — and our destinies. Neither do you remember all the insignificant things we used to share daily. Nor do you remember how you would lean on me when you were down — and how happy I was to be the one to lift you up.

I do.

But it’s OK… It’s not your fault.

You’ve got a different muse now. She’s beautiful. Pretty, smart and capable. Everything a guy would want.

It’s not her fault either. I’m not jealous.

I just wanted you to know I remember.

 

* * * * * * * *

 

“People come and go,” my dad used to say. “But family is forever.”

“Bullshit,” I thought in my heart. “Just because your friends failed you, doesn’t mean mine will.”

But I guess the old man was right.

Everyone else has come and gone. I thought you would be different. But maybe that’s my fault — I always think it’ll be different.

Even though I see it coming.

You never know the exact moment it happens, but I dread it like how I dread the seconds ticking on my alarm clock every morning. Helplessly watching the clock hands creep toward a new day — even as I stubbornly cling to the night.

Tick tock, tick tock.

I first felt it when you started asking me questions about her. “Why did she say that?” “She asked me for help today. What does that mean?” “Does she like me?”

Of course she does. Anyone would.

Tick tock, tick tock.

And then your replies started getting slower and slower. Always with an apology of course. “Sorry, I was busy.”

I know you’re busy. But are you really sorry?

Tick tock, tick tock.

I knew it the day you didn’t text me at all. The first time in years. So I didn’t too.

Tick tock, tick tock.

Another one walks.

 

* * * * * * * *

 

I wish it could go back to how it used to be. Just you and me.

Or at least that you would try harder. Try harder to fit me into your life. That you would remember I was once important.

I wish you would text me without me starting first. That you would write, “Hey, I’m coming to see you. Just because I miss you.” And I would ask, “Aren’t you busy with work? You don’t have to.” And you would say those three words that I long to hear:

“I want to.”

But we both know that you won’t.

Because you don’t.

You don’t really want to be a friend.

Only a long-lost one.

 

Sincerely,
Your long-lost friend

 

 

Follow me at mr-stingy.com

Pic at Unsplash

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