Ah, the selfie.
The ultimate expression of one’s artistic creativity and soul in the 21st century. What else can entertain, humor, and annoy like it?
We’ve already poked fun at the duckface, rolled our eyes at the beach vacation selfie and secretly envied the abs of the gym selfies.
Check out this hilarious article for some good old fashioned ribbing of the most common selfies.
And here are 5 more selfies (and their captions) which are so silly, that we can’t help but laugh at.
5. The Beg for Attention Selfie
Just me and my music tonight
(Image: Tulisas Instagram)
Ok – everyone knows that a selfie is a cry for attention. But some take this a step further with captions that literally beg for attention.
Like “Just another solo Saturday night at home. #single”
Or “Enjoying the beautiful sunset. Wonder if Mr. Right is out there”
It’s the mutated insta-cousin of the infamous “Argggggggh. What a day :(” Facebook status message.
Sorry, I know I’m being harsh. Everyone just wants to be loved and given attention.
It’s just that neediness is never attractive.
What we read it as: I’m lonely. Ask me out boys.
4. The “Accidentally” Left My New Item In The Corner Selfie
Did you notice my new white shirt hanging in the background?
(Image: Instagram Kim Kardashian)
At number 4, we have a wondrous curiosity. A selfie that combines the best of both worlds: narcissism and materialism.
Not only are you narcissistic, you’re rich / have a boyfriend rich enough to have really expensive material stuff. Wow!
So why the need for false humility and “accidentally” leave your new toy in the corner of the picture? Heck, if I were you, I’d post a close up pic of it, display exactly how much it costs and hashtag the hell out of it so LVMH Moët Hennessy • Louis Vuitton S.A starts taking notice. Especially if it’s fake.
What we read it as: Notice my new LV bag in the corner of my picture? Please ask me about it in the comments so everyone else knows too!
3. The Inspirational Quote Selfie
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”
(Image: By Thelord1997 (Own work))
Research has shown that if you post a picture of yourself with an inspirational quote, you’re guaranteed to have more likes than if you either posted your picture alone, or just the inspirational quote alone.
Interestingly, researchers also found that you will get at least 30% more likes if your quote is from Marilyn Monroe.
Ok, I made that up – but thank you for being such an inspiration to humanity.
What we read it as: Please tell me I’m smart. (But don’t forget to tell me I’m pretty).
#Number #2 #The #Hashtag #Overload #Selfie #Emmagem #Aaron #Poking #Fun #Sunday
Even I don’t use as many hashtags as you
(Image: Instagram Justin Bieber)
Social scientists have discovered an inverse relationship between compulsive hashtag usage and intelligence. Put simply, the higher the proportion of hashtags to normal language used, the higher the probability that person is a bimbo or himbo.
Ok, I made that up too. But prove me otherwise.
Click here to read scientific evidence on how too many selfies can degrade your relationships with other people.
What we read it as: I’m trying to get famous by spamming hashtags because I don’t know any other way for people to take notice of me.
1. The “Pretending That I’m Not Half Naked” Selfie
Sexiness is not about being half naked. It’s not even about the pose. It’s just about sunglasses.
(Image: Instagram Lady Gaga)
A little while back I was browsing through the photos of a well-known Malaysian actress/model/plastic-surgery-enthusiast. In one of the pictures – she was dressed in just a pair of silver panties, lying topless on a set of bright stars and posing seductively with her back arched at an incredible angle.
I initially thought she had been possessed a la “The Exorcist”, only to realize that any male demons present would be watching from the outside too.
Which is commercially all good and fine. The fact that I (perv) was looking points to the fact that there is a market (perv) for this kind of picture. She’s just a girl trying to earn an honest living!
But I nearly burst out laughing when I saw the caption, which was something like: “Sexiness is not about your body. It’s about how you carry yourself”.
It’s not the almost-naked / cleavage / lingerie pics that we find silly. (everyone realizes that the Internet is made out of 80% of that stuff anyway). It’s the fact that you blatantly show off the goods and then say something in total contradiction. Let’s leave hypocritical idiocy to the politicians shall we?
What we read it as: I know you’re looking at my chest, but please pretend you’re more impressed by my character so I can sleep better at night.
Aaron is an Instagram expert, with a huge number of 118(!) followers. He has never done any of the above, which may explain why he’s never gotten more than 5 likes.