Disclaimer: this post is not intended in any way to be ‘body-shaming’. If you are uncomfortable with the content, the writer suggests that you read the other articles available on this website.
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What individual A thinks is nice might not be what individual B thinks is nice. We’re all entitled to our own opinion, and that’s one of the best things about being human.
I’ve always said that I want to be a man in my next life, because men are lucky enough not to have periods/mood swings/eyeliner problems/etc. But what I can confidently say is that men don’t have the luxury of finding a completely decent dress at Monki for RM40, because although there are considerably more fashion choices in the market for men nowadays, they don’t come cheap.
I mean, judging by the tailoring required for a simple button-down shirt VS a pleated chiffon dress, I sometimes wonder why men’s clothes are so expensive.
Anyway, back to the point. Although Malaysia is steadily gaining traction as one of the more fashionable countries in Asia (we’ve got an impressive lineup of local designers who make awesome clothes), we have to agree that in terms of being fashion-aware, some of us still live in trees. (As was the world’s consensus as recently as a decade ago when you told them you were from Malaysia – people either thought we lived like sakais, or that Kuala Lumpur was in Singapore. Go figure.)
Here are the top 5 fashion crimes committed by Malaysians, in no particular order, though I do loathe all of them equally (ok, maybe I detest the butt-showing pants one more):
Fashion crime 1: wearing leggings as pants
Leggings are the comfiest things ever invented. You can practically wear them all day and not feel restricted. Provided that a) you are at home and nobody cares; b) your top is long enough to cover your crotch; and c) you aren’t wearing flowery granny underpants. If you fail to adhere to any of the above rules, please please please – do NOT step out of the house. Especially if you are wearing a cropped top or a baby tee that ends way above the waistband of your panties.
What’s scarier than a legging cameltoe? A sheer legging cameltoe.
Fashion crime 2: too-tight underwear
Just last week, I was having dinner at a restaurant. One girl and her boyfriend came in, and my first reaction was ‘Wow, she’s pretty!’ (I usually check out the girl first, I don’t know why). Until she turned around, and my brain stopped processing for a while. Her underwear was obviously too small for comfort, and despite having a really nice body, she was suffering from a severe case of undie muffin top and VPL, which was such a turn-off as I could see the exact shape of her underwear through her white dress.
Ladies, please – if you know you’re going to be wearing a figure-hugging dress, make sure you wear the right underwear. Even Spanx or control underwear is better than tiny boyshorts that restrict your hips to the point where people can tell you exactly what type of lingerie you’re wearing.
Fashion crime 3: clear bra straps
This was in trend when I was 12. Or 13, maybe. I don’t remember; it’s been so long. BUT CLEAR BRA STRAPS STILL EXIST (for reasons unknown to mankind). They don’t do anything to support the strapless bra, they stick to your skin, and they leave behind horrible marks. Strapless bras are not called clear strap bras for good reason. If you’re going to show off your shoulders in a bustier dress, throw ‘em nasty clear straps away. They deserve to be melted down and made into recyclable plastic bags.
Fashion crime 4: butt-showing hot shorts
Ooooh! 2015’s coolest trend! Shorts so short; you can practically see the butt cheeks hanging out! Which makes me wonder: what kind of panties do they wear? Maybe it’s because I’m old and conservative, because my underwear is (sometimes, not always) bigger than the slivers of fabric young girls nowadays refer to as ‘shorts’. It’s a complete eyesore, because butt-showing shorts are often accompanied with discoloured buttocks and cellulite thighs. I’m sorry, but I really hate this trend and I want to shoot the person who introduced it, as well as the people who think that it’s worth trying. Please let me roam my shopping malls in peace on weekends. I’m stressed enough as it is.
Fashion crime 5: cropped top + low-rise pants
My sore eyes have gotten triple-whammys of cropped top + low-rise pants + jelly tummy so many times, I’ve lost count. I’m sorry but cropped tops should never be worn with low-rise pants. Ok, if you’re at the gym, fine. But not everybody wants to see your rock-hard abs if you’re not at the gym, and you shouldn’t force them to by wearing a cropped top so short, people would think it’s a bra top. Please be considerate and dress appropriately. You are not at the beach. Showing off a little bit of skin is sexy. Showing off the entire expanse of your waist all the way down to your navel and beyond? Not sexy.
Because nobody ever looked good rockin’ the mullet skirt. Why do you think the mullet hairstyle never really kicked off in the first place?
Jersey tank dresses
Because expectation is never reality. Jersey dresses are only flattering on non-mortals.
(Images: designsbykaty.com, dailymail.co.uk, meaghansmith.com.au, thenatural.ca, operationstyleloves.blogspot.com, polyvore.com, wheretogetit.it, popsugar.com)