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I have something depressing to confess. I think my boyfriend’s mother hates me. Oh well, maybe hate is too strong a word but I do get the feeling that she thinks I’m a bad influence on her boy. I’m in a 2 year relationship and it’s still going strong. We’ve been through the highs and lows of a relationship and thus far we’ve emerged as winners. The only thing that I have not won over is the heart of the other lady in his life. His mother.
The usual scenario would be you waiting for your date to pick you up, checking yourself out in the mirror and wondering for the hundredth time if you look good. Honestly, it’s what we tend to do every time we walk out the door, but on a Valentine’s Day, it probably seems that bit more difficult.
If this special day entails dinner in a posh restaurant with chances of your date outdoing himself with a nice outfit, you’d most likely want to wear something special too. A dress is always a good option. However, be careful to pick it well. Black is classy and sexy while colours are flirty and girlish. If you decide to go with red though, make sure it’s one that’s well cut and preferably not with any form of body hugging lycra. You want to look more electrifying and less Elektra! Also, chances of every piece of decoration being red are high and looking like part of the décor is never good.
As Year 2006 bids its farewell, we once again close another chapter in our lives. We reflect on the bitter sweet memories it has brought us. We learn from past mistakes, hoping that it would serve as a guide for the road ahead. Tender moments of happiness, fun and joy, we cherish and store in our hearts, for in times of sorrow, may they warm our souls once more.
With all that done, Year 2007 creeps in, promising a year of all things new and exciting. It is once again, a time for us to whip out that pen (or pencil, as some of you may prefer) writing feverishly on that piece of paper, a list of things we wish to achieve before this year comes to a close. The new year resolution syndrome (as I would like to call it) lives on.
Most of us tend to have a love-hate relationship with our ex-boyfriends or girlfriends. When times are going really bad, you start to wonder if he/she was the One and that maybe you should have looked over the tiny flaws. When times are good though, your Ex is described as worse than the plague and you wonder why you stuck around so long and why you didn’t notice the blinding flaws from the very beginning.
Everyone will at some point subconsciously compare his or her current life to life with the Ex. This might not necessarily be a negative thing. I have met many (ahem!) unworthy (to put it politely) men in my life and when I do make a comparison, I always realize how lucky I am to have escaped. However, as life goes on, it can get rather frustrating how someone who seems to be a part of your old life still manages to haunt you now. No matter how much you remind yourself to avoid comparing, it creeps up and you and only time or another Ex (hah!) will be able to heal it.
How many of us are die-hard fans of Siti Nurhaliza? Yet, the whole country is buzzing with news of her wedding. Everyone I’ve met, from my dentist to the cab driver has a personal view on the matter. I find this rather amusing. I read and hear all this information about two random people and I’m baffled by how everyone concludes that it is an unworthy match. Mind you, I’m keeping mum on this topic. Firstly, it’s because I honestly don’t care about whom she’s marrying and secondly, if I ever did mention the possibility of love being the reason, I would receive deathly looks along with being accused of condoning “home wrecking.”
Relationships turn stale at some point. That’s the ominous truth, even if we refuse to acknowledge it. After the initial honeymoon period and as years pass, so do the flames that were once constantly alight. However, hope is not lost for re-igniting those flames. Couples who have managed to survive the test of time have secrets that have kept their relationship strong. The same goes in other arenas such as for keeping friendship and family bonds strong. So, for the rest of the year, strengthen your relationships by following these few tips.
Why is life always about conclusions, closure, the end results and the ending? Why don’t people actually appreciate living for the moment? Every self respecting self help book and guru is now advocating that we go on the new track and stop to smell the roses but yet do we really? Why are we taught to be objective and clear minded all our lives? Do we ever work without the reward or promotion in mind and love without the end in sight?
When was the last time you flirted? If you had to stop and think about it, you’re losing out on all the benefits that comes with it. I believe in the wonders of flirting. Before you start with the unpleasant name calling though, do think about what you’re classifying as flirting and why it bothers you or others so much.I flirt all the time. In fact, I’m so good at it that firstly, I do it without actively thinking about it and secondly, I do it without anyone else thinking about it! I follow a brand of flirting that is adverse to the hair twirling and batting of eyelashes type. These are amateur forms that will encourage the term “slutty” as opposed to “friendly”, which is what I’m going for. I emphasise on subtlety.
Multi-racial nation. Racial harmony. These are terms that we are so used to hearing about our country. Yet, when it comes to inter-racial couples or marriages, the cracks start to show. We still hear from friends or read in various Aunt Agony newspaper columns about disapproval in certain families over race.
How do Malaysian women find dates? Many claim to look to friends of friends or through people they know. Is this really the best way to look for that perfect match?
I’ve heard about countless dating experiences that have ended up as social disasters. The usual scenario would be that you’ve met someone through a friend. You click and go out on a couple of dates. Then, you decided for whatever reason that it’s not working. Your friend, who you met him through starts getting involved and there’s a back and forth of information between all of you. Basically, it ends in one tiring experience.
When social issues are highlighted in the national papers, everyone talks about it. Over the past year, there have been many articles on the rise of the number of unmarried women in Malaysia. Many reasons were highlighted. However, the main reason was the fact that the number of women in institutes of higher education is higher than men. Hence, women now hold high positions and other than the diminishing pool of available men, they¡¯ll have to decide their stand on dating men who earn less than them.Obviously, from the highlight of the issue in the papers, Malaysian women and men are not very comfortable with this notion. We are still a conservative nation with orthodox views on the roles of men and women. Even if the individual is comfortable with such a situation, it will be a task to battle off comments passed by other members of our “kepoh” society.
When a woman does earn more than a man, does it really turn it into a different relationship? What is it that scares us? Is it the freedom to stop working if we felt like it? Are we just craving security that won’t depend on us working for it? None of the reasons make us goldiggers. It’s a personal choice. Our priorities also may shift over time and having financial comfort will make them an easier transition.
However if we do decide to be career women and have a relationship with a man who earns less than us, we have to acknowledge the fact that material things will have to take a backseat. See it as sorting out a part of your life, the finances and adrenalin from working, and view your relationship as being able to provide other things. There are husbands who handle the children more, treat their wives to a meal after work and there to provide comfort and a listening ear after a stressful day. These are things that a career woman will need.
Women who do earn more must see the other aspects a relationship. It is a bold decision and should be respected and saluted by all. Women who have decided to concentrate on other points deserve equally the same.
Recently, I was in a club when I witnessed one of those rare moments of a girl chatting a guy up. She was gorgeous, cool and confident and I couldn’t help but cheer her on silently. The guy ended up dancing with her and I wondered if that was the beginning of a possible romance. I got to talk to some male friends and tried to find out what they really thought about women who chat men up.
Are you one of those women who fear the waiter approaching at the end of the night as much as waiting for doom? Once the night is ending and your date has asked for the bill, your heart thumps at dealing with the awkward shuffle that will ensue. It might be a simple action of looking at the bill and putting some money down, but the implication of what happens is tremendous.
It’s that time of the year for me again. My birthday is in a couple of days and I’m reacting exactly the same way I do every year. Those close to me will notice my June edginess and stay away. That’s right; stay away because nothing can change how I feel during this particular time of the year.
If you’re in a relationship:
If you’re single:
• You hate the hype of it all and stay at home adamant on not being part of the nonsense. Then you get up on the 15 th, happy at your successful attempt only to see that the front page of the Star is about some over the top Valentine couple.
• You plan dinner with some single girlfriends only to have each give their campaign speech on anti-Valentines.
• You wake up at 8am and hope that by some miracle, a secret admirer/friend/ex-boyfriend/any male declares their undying love for you.
• You’re a heaven-sent angel who’s actually truly happy for all the couples having a romantic Valentines.
As for me, whether in a relationship or not I’m saying ‘Tak Nak’ to Valentines. Of course, if someone tops the 999 Ferero Rocher Man, I might just reconsider.
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