In this alphabetical tug of war, guess which alphabet will win hands down and it isn’t by merit of its placing on the alphabetical order either. EQ is apparently the new keyword to corporate success. Whilst it doesn’t mean that education or intelligence isn’t important anymore, a high IQ rating doesn’t guarantee career success but combined together, EQ + IQ is a formula that can launch a career to rocket heights. EQ by itself can even stand alone in quiet glory. Well, look at Paris Hilton, a simple- minded TV reality show made her millions whilst still managing to uphold the blonde bimbo image, good work girl! What was the secret to success, high EQ, low IQ or the other way around? What about Anna Nicole Smith, what the whole world thought was lacking upstairs was stored in entirety on BQ, I mean, EQ level. It’s really raising the playing field, and surely it takes more than a little sumthin’ to marry a 90 year old millionaire in a wheelchair and inherit his fortune.

So what is EQ really? The old fashioned word would be maturity, EQ or Emotional Quotient, is actually the measure of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships as defined by Daniel Goldman in his book “Working with Emotional Intelligence”. Emotional intelligence works in the lower brain in the ancient sub-cortex whereas intellect is on the neo- cortex of the brain.

Over the years theorists have conclude that high IQ tests results do not pre-determine the success of that person’s career. This is because verbal and math intelligence as usually measured in IQ tests do not suffice but rather emotional competencies like social adeptness and knowing one’s inner world should be measured as components of intelligence in order for high IQ people to be high achievers as well. Emotional intelligence can be broken down into 5 basic emotional and social competencies like self awareness; self regulation; motivation; empathy and social skills.

A research done at Hay/McBer on identifying distinguishing competencies that set apart star performers from the average ones, found that 53 percent of star performers evaluated showed that emotional competence was twice as important in contributing to excellence. These competencies are usually measured as influence, team leadership, organizational awareness, self confidence, the drive to achieve and leadership itself.

If you wish to have a strong EQ, develop and work on these competencies:

• Self awareness means to be aware of ourselves and our feelings and to make rational decisions based on that awareness. It also means being realistic about oneself and ones’ abilities.
• Self regulation is a form of self control. An ability to make decisions without being clouded by emotions; it is about being conscientious and having an ability to bounce back from emotional distress.
• Motivation is taking our deepest preferences to help us take action towards our goals and persevere despite setbacks and frustrations.
• Empathy is being able to sense what other people are feeling, see things from their perspective and cultivating rapport with many types of people.
• Social skills is ability to handle relationships well, read social and networking situations accurately  and with this knowledge use it to persuade , negotiate and attain goals and settle any disputes.

Emotionally intelligent people who have high or average IQ can hold better positions than people with high IQ. Why is that?  Because people with high EQ,  being emotionally more competent, have better people skills. They have better abilities to listen, to influence and to get people motivated and work well together.

Does that mean that women are better managers since they usually have better emotional skills? Not necessarily, while women are usually better at detecting fleeting feelings of others compared to men, however when it comes to more complex empathy like empathic accuracy which senses someone’s thought, there is no gender difference. Whilst women are motivated to seem more empathetic, men are not motivated lest they be deemed as weak. So it isn’t the lack of ability but rather the lack of desire to be seen as sensitive. Women like to play up these soft skills and seem more caring, but men, the wily creatures, usually know what’s going on but they just don’t trip over themselves to show they too know. Those who do, are the ones that we women fall for, those “sweet” sensitive and caring men.

So, learn EQ and let your  IQ shine !

Originally posted on 2006

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