What happens when the other woman is a man?

By: yetmee

February 19th, 2009 • Related • Filed Under

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Filed Under: A Matter Of Opinion • Featured • Relationships

Tags: Beyonce Knowles • botox • Gym • heterosexual • Relationships • song "If I were a Boy"

The other day I met a friend at the gym and we got down to talking about relationships in general and then we talked about men in general when he dropped a bombshell. He suggested that maybe we can share boyfriend , well I told him hesitantly, not entirely sure if he was just jesting, that it would be difficult for one, I am not into sharing and for two , don’t have anyone to share. Luckily he quickly reassured me he was just joking…phew!

He went on to say that some of his girlfriends have actually told him that they much prefer it when the other woman is a man. Wow, I have heard situations when bisexual men have relationships with both genders in secrecy, and of course there are incidences when gay men who want to hide their sexual preferences (ie not come out of their closets) maintain a heterosexual relationship whilst playing the other team in secret. There are also some open bisexual relationships where the couples enjoy other partners and the man could go either way and I guess than it’s open field for the woman too.

It could also be just out of sexual experimentation of sorts  but it got me thinking, what happens when the other woman is a man or vice versa, does it make the betrayal less? Betrayal is bad enough but with another man or woman? How would you feel? How does one compete with the other sex for the favors of the  man you love for a girl for instance? I mean pardon me if this crude but functionally man and woman are built differently so hmm,( I am treading on deep waters here) can it even be possible to compete? So how would one try to win him back, I mean with the same sex at least you can change hairdo or lose weight, get botoxed but if it is a man ……and since I am girl and would it be  as easily done as Beyonce’s latest single  goes , “If I was a Boy”

Emotionally also , men and women react to things and situations differently so ,how does one even start to win her man back from the other man? Do you  be rougher or go super softer so as to contrast the effect?

Psychologically speaking ,is the trauma of betrayal more? Would it throw a woman into total helplessness and throes of inadequacy? Or is it less, because after all there is no real competition is there , at least not on equal grounds?

What if you are a man , and it happens to you?

I have no answers for this one because I don’t know ,what do you think? Would you like to share your thoughts by answering the poll below.

Which is worse?

• if it is the opposite gender as you
• if it is the same gender as you

View Results

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Feature photo is from Greys Anatomy Insider

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There Are 7 Responses So Far. »

1. 

   Comment by hyperX
   1:12 pm on February 19th, 2009 :

   I voted the second one… Anyway, if I have a chance to choose my gender, I’ll choose to be a girl, a pretty one.
2. 

   Comment by elaine
   4:10 pm on February 19th, 2009 :

   I’ll choose the second one too, though i hope i’ll never need to choose.
3. 

   Comment by karenmarie
   4:21 pm on February 19th, 2009 :

   lols, yeah, I hope it does not happen too… But knowing the guy became gay also is quite insulting. lols.
4. 

   Comment by erin
   6:26 pm on February 27th, 2009 :

   talking bout bisexual etc matter, how do i say this..have u notice that in gay/ lesbian relationships one of the partner play the masculine/feminine role..and i find the whole gay/lesbian people are FAKE when in lesbian relationship(the other one acting masculine-ly->roll eyes) and in gay relationship(the other one acting feminine-ly->roll eyes) and supposedly they don’t like woman(for gays-> scratching my head) or guy(for lesbians-> scratching my head). weird weird weird …
5. 

   Comment by Robb
   10:47 pm on February 28th, 2009 :

   interesting topic.

   i’m more interested in the comment posted by erin to be particular which i have to disagree on that gay/les are fake.

   let’s go to the lesbian first. yes, some girls like to be manly (it’s called butch), and believe me, they can even put real guys to shame when it comes to their charm, but when in a relationship, the other girl (the one playing the female role), is attracted to the manly outlook of the girl and also the personality of the butch since she understands how another girl thinks. so this is the case normally for lesbian.

   for gays, let’s just say that not all gays who are bottoms (receiving end) are effeminate. a lot of them are, and for those who are engaged in a relationship, the top (giving end) is normally attracted to the looks and maybe a little bit in the personality. the sissyness that followed along, is more like a tolerable thing cuz trust me, if it ain’t because of the pretty boy face, no gays would stand his partner acting like a female.

   well, it’s an opinion from a gay guy at least. not necessary to be the truth, but merely from heart.
6. 

   Comment by mia
   4:55 pm on March 2nd, 2009 :

   refering to erin’s comment:

   gays/les are not fake!!!!!
   not at all!!!!!
   They just need help!!!Please help them straighten up their pants and skirts…..
   Maybe some therapy would help their lil confuse unconscious mind…pity them…really…
   Even if the gays/les get together and get married, they can’t even get to have their own biological child…just no point of getting married at the first place…..

   and to Robb:

   why do you say you disagree with erin’s comment but your very long explanation almost make me think otherwise….
   they are not fake but just like to play pretend…and eventually play the girl and boy role in reverse….
7. 

   Comment by Rida.B
   7:50 pm on March 22nd, 2009 :

   Errr….both erin & mia,…

   its either ur guys r homophobic or u just dun have gay friend.

   of course biologically they can’t have kids. But their not sexually confused (unlike transvestite and pengkid).

   They just attracted to their own gender. One gay couple I know, both of them are very masculine & *jaw-drop* super handsome too. But, they just not attracted to women. Another friend of mine, realised he is much more relax & composed with his current partner compared with his ex-gf.

   So,…

   It’s the matter of ‘heart’. Not gender.

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