Professional Love

September 1st, 2007 • Related • Filed Under

 

Picture courtesy of wagg66

Most of us spend at about a third of our entire life working, or at the office. That means seeing the same colleagues for at least 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Hence, it is only normal if the office somehow turns into the modern day matchmaking agency.

However, as forbidden as the apple in Adam and Eve?ˉs Garden of Eden is, office romance is viewed in the same way. Employers often frown upon the thought of two colleagues in the office being involved in a romantic relationship but who can blame them? Research has shown that while an office romance may not negatively affect the work performance of the two love-birds, an office romance that has gone sour may lead to nasty side effects such as a decrease in work productivity and lawsuits. But, I do not think that should stop any of us from being with our own colleague-in-shining-armour. The secret here is to carefully think it through before rushing into anything and to be professional about it, regardless of what happens to the relationship.

Since there will always be two sides to a coin, you first have to weigh the pros and cons. On one end, it is easier to understand each other?ˉs work stress because you are going through the same ordeal. Working in the same company also allows you to spend more time together ¨C getting to work, lunch breaks, and company functions. Plus, you get to know the true side of his nature faster because both partners tend to be on their best behaviours during a date, hence a not-so-real personality. On the other end, dating someone at work might not be a good idea. Besides being talked about behind your back, you will have to put up with accusations of favouritism if you are the boss or if you are seeing the boss. And, a break-up could then lead to awkward encounters between you two, loss of job, or charges of sexual harassment.

Now, the question to ask is, are you willing to put all these at risk for the sake of this relationship?

 

Picture courtesy of smeagull

If you choose to answer yes, then there are a few guidelines to follow. Hey, who said love was easy? Anyway, assuming that love has blossomed and the two of you are officially together, the first thing to remember is to be discreet. But that does not mean that you should only stare longingly at him from afar and pretend that you do not know each other. Keeping the relationship a secret is only going to fuel gossips around the office. So if someone asks if you are in a relationship with him, answer honestly but leave it at that. Keep all the flirting to yourself, and outside of office hours. Additionally, public display of affection in the office is a no-no.

As a worker, your main role is to work so remember not to let love get in the way. Sure, being in a relationship is fun but when it comes to work, be professional about it. For example, do not spend most of your time sending private instant messages to one another until it leads to a neglect of office tasks. Also, if a work issue occurs, handle it like how it was meant to be handled, even if that means having to reject your sweetheart?ˉs business project proposal. Yes, he might be angry at you for it but it should be expected when it comes to office romance. It is a give and take situation that should be well thought about beforehand.

Picture courtesy of smeagull

If unfortunately, the relationship did not work out, be mature about it. Going around, spreading words about how much of a jerk he is will only end up tarnishing your own reputation. Resist getting in an argument with him in the office, and do not even think about pulling pranks on him. During work, see him as a fellow colleague instead of an ex-boyfriend. Smile and treat him like how you would to others. That way, not only are you not letting the break up influence your behaviour, you are also indirectly letting him know that you have moved on and can go on being happy without him.

Just for your personal gain, do not forget about your other colleagues too. Maintain your friendship with them because the last thing you want upon a break up is to come back to an office where you neither have a boyfriend nor any other co-workers to talk to.

To cut a long story short, if you are tired of only giving him the winks at work, or having the little chats by the water cooler, and want to bring the relationship to a further level, then by all means go for it. But approach with caution and handle the relationship well because it is so not worth it to lose a job (do you know how difficult it is to get a job these days?) and a relationship at the same time. One way to keep this in mind is to remember the irony of office romance: a romance that started inside the office, should stay outside of the office.

Last 5 posts by Lea S.

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