Staying Alive - Is Your Relationship Sinking?

July 28th, 2006 • Related • Filed Under

Relationships turn stale at some point. That’s the ominous truth, even if we refuse to acknowledge it. After the initial honeymoon period and as years pass, so do the flames that were once constantly alight. However, hope is not lost for re-igniting those flames. Couples who have managed to survive the test of time have secrets that have kept their relationship strong. The same goes in other arenas such as for keeping friendship and family bonds strong. So, for the rest of the year, strengthen your relationships by following these few tips.

1. Communicate

This sounds so simple yet many relationships break down just through the lack of it. We get caught up with work and other activities that sometimes leave no room or time to have a conversation with our loved one. If you find that you don’t talk to your partner, friend of family as often as you used to, try other forms of communication. Write letters to them to tell them what’ve you been doing and to clear any bad air that might have happened. Everybody loves getting snail mails and you can write it at your convenient time. E-mails are also good if you know that person does a lot of work on the computer. I know an elderly couple where the husband works all the time, mostly on the computers. As he comes home late and the wife is asleep, she has taken to writing him e-mails telling him about her day and he writes back! They both swear that their relationship would not have survived his working hours if they hadn’t started communicating through e-mail. They also claim that they “talk” much more now, about many different things than they did when they actually had time to talk.

2. Intimacy

Due to our culture, Malaysians are shy to create intimacy with our loved ones. Hugs and kisses are usually saved for special occasions. However, intimacy should be encouraged among family members and between couples. Couples in long termed marriages forget how they were like before marriage where holding hands was a second nature to them. Make an effort to create closeness between you and your spouse or partner. This will do wonders for your relationship in the long run. It might be difficult to restart it but once you’re use to having it again, you’d realise how much closer and connected you’d both feel.

3. Dress Up (this only applies to couples)

Just because you’ve been married 10 years or been dating a long time doesn’t mean you should let yourself go. Sure, it’s good to be comfortable around your partner but comfort doesn’t necessarily mean living in oversized blouses and pants. Make an effort with your appearance to keep the physical and sexual attraction alive in your relationship. Even if you don’t have glam parties everyday, make sure you’re well kept and groomed even if you’re headed to the supermarket. This will make it a natural part of your everyday routine, which means that your partner could catch you at any given time with you looking like a million bucks.

4. Forgive and Forget

A lot of time is wasted when people hold grudges against their loved ones. Many families and marriages have been torn apart because somebody doesn’t want to forgive and forget. You can’t prevent fights and disagreements but you can prevent them from dragging in. Resolve the situation quickly and never bring up old arguments. Don’t let your relationship stagnate in the past. Allow it to flourish on a clean sheet all the time.

5. Laugh MoreAll those in lasting relationships swear by it. They claim that life gets hard sometimes and your partner or family must be there to continue laughing through it all. Share jokes with each other and laugh at the silly things that happen everyday. This will strengthen the bond in relationships because you’ll have a collection of happy memories to look back on when times are trying between the two of you.

6. Alone TimeJust because you are continuously aiming to create a good relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t have alone time. Alone time is important because you allow yourself to affirm your own personality and will keep you both form morphing into one person. So many couples unconsciously do that in the beginning of a relationship. They spend a lot of time together that they lose sense of who they were. They realise this later and some feel that they have to leave the relationship in order to rediscover themselves. Don’t let this happen to you. Alone time also allows you to reflect on your relationship and appreciate it for what it is rather than continue it because you’re in it. Even family members can get an overload of each other’s company and should take time off when they feel suffocated.

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