Flirting For Health

July 28th, 2006 • Related • Filed Under

When was the last time you flirted? If you had to stop and think about it, you’re losing out on all the benefits that comes with it. I believe in the wonders of flirting. Before you start with the unpleasant name calling though, do think about what you’re classifying as flirting and why it bothers you or others so much.I flirt all the time. In fact, I’m so good at it that firstly, I do it without actively thinking about it and secondly, I do it without anyone else thinking about it! I follow a brand of flirting that is adverse to the hair twirling and batting of eyelashes type. These are amateur forms that will encourage the term “slutty” as opposed to “friendly”, which is what I’m going for. I emphasise on subtlety.

Once you achieve this and start reaping the benefits, you’ll definitely be hooked.Flirting works on everyone. I flirt with men, women, salespeople and anyone else needed. This is precisely why the hair twirling won’t work. It’s gender and age bias. Imagine twirling your hair at a female salesperson… you get the picture. Good flirting lies in the ability to manipulate a situation. What has never let me down is good eye contact and lots of smiling. Make sure you hold that person’s gaze for a few seconds before letting it go for a while. This makes you seem interested in what they’re talking about and considering the narcissism in most people; it’s a sure winner. Also make sure to listen intently and smile or laugh at appropriate moments. I cannot stress how important it is to listen. Try the 60-40% rule. They should be doing 60% of the talking while you insert the “I’ve been listening so I have an opinion” lines for 40% of the conversation. This will strike the crucial balance between hoarding the conversation and being classified as brain dead. You should also have analysed your “target” well. If you’re talking to a hawker, putting on a posh accent is not going to work. Speak like them and make comments that you know they would appreciate. People warm up to familiarity much faster compared to something alien.

I’ve had friends who disapprove of flirting. To them it’s cunning, fake and manipulative. I agree. It is definitely learning to manipulate the situation presented. But I ask this question. If you need something done and there’s no other way or had 15 minutes to make an impression on someone, how else would you do it? Flirting is easy and effective. It’s gotten me tables in a crowded club, change of seats in flights and salespeople to give me last items at a discount. Sure, I could have accepted that life was such and dealt with it or try flirting to see if it could change it.

There are however boundaries that I set for myself. I never make physical contact, nor do I allow it. I don’t accept drinks or anything else that I hadn’t intended the flirting to provide. I never give out numbers nor do I agree to meet up. Be careful. I’ll warn you that flirting at its best can have people clawing for more and unless you’re looking for it, never feel the need to follow through because they’ve been nice to you or that you feel guilty. It’s your game. Be in control.

Flirting and seeing how you’re capable of captivating someone’s attention is therapeutic. It boosts your confidence by being able to speak to someone. If it’s practiced on the opposite sex, even for innocent fun, it’ll make you feel attractive and powerful. Of course, if it was aimed to achieve something tangible and it worked, the personal satisfaction of getting it will have you on a high. Lastly. It’s harmless fun. As long as you’re in control of your needed dosage, I assure you that it won’t fail to cure.

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