Multi-racial nation. Racial harmony. These are terms that we are so used to hearing about our country. Yet, when it comes to inter-racial couples or marriages, the cracks start to show. We still hear from friends or read in various Aunt Agony newspaper columns about disapproval in certain families over race.

What is the worry about inter-racial couples? Some claim that they think that having a spouse that is the same race would make integration into their respective families easier. They are familiar with each other’s customs and hence will avoid any form of disagreement arising. There is also the important decision of raising children. Most want their kids to be raised the same way they were and feel that there would be a conflict when raising children with parents who have two different perceptions of parenting. There are also those who disagree simply because of their own personal prejudices against a

certain race. These however are usually made from generalisations made from certain incidents that may have had a lasting impact on their lives.However, are these reasons enough to validate their disapproval against an inter-racial marriage? Why are family members involved when it comes to making a decision about a union between two people? They should recognize that even though they may have their prejudices, obviously the couple involved holds no such views and are comfortable with the situation. Hence, they cannot understand their family’s disapproval and will in turn feel resentment or unnecessary guilt. Also, marrying your own does not guarantee a perfect relationship. All relationships are fundamentally based on give and take. Hence, if an inter-racial marriage does in fact break down, it’s less about conflicting beliefs and more about a lack of understanding, which undeniably can happen in any area of a relationship.

People should be proud of their race but should never let it get to the extent of prejudice. If you don’t allow racial harmony in your family, how would it ever happen in your country. There have been countless times I’ve heard complains about policies or ethics that people resent. They blame it on the other race and see themselves as being prejudiced against. Yet, they won’t like another race in their family. People shouldn’t see disapproval at inter-racial coupling as a being tit for tat situation. A relationship, whether between couples, colleagues or friends is the last place for such an unwanted sentiment.

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